Ever wondered why some wedding ceremonies make you shed a tear or more and some others make you scream ‘get me out of here now’?? It’s all in the vows and they have to be the personal ones too. Don’t just read out the legal vows (b.o.r.i.n.g.!). When two people are in love, you’ll see it through their eyes, their smiles and the sweet nothings they say to each other. Their emotions will shine through so even if you’re not one for sappiness, the personal vows that they’ve so thoughtfully written out for one another will be enough to make anyone’s heart melt a little. Wouldn’t you want that for your wedding too? It takes time though, to write out what you truly feel in a couple of short paragraphs, so start early.
How to start?
1. Brainstorm.
a) Think of all the things you love about your soon-to-be-hubby/wifey, be it certain elements of their personality or appearance. Their infectious laughs, the way they order their sandwiches (think When Harry Met Sally), their ballerina sleeping pose, the way they sulk and that they are the first and last person you think about when you fall asleep. Sweeeeeet.
b) List out the promises you want to make because you’ll have to keep them! Phrases such as ‘I promise to be a good wife’ or ‘I promise to obey’ are too general to mean anything. Be specific: promise to say I love you every day, to support his/her favourite sports team or to give him/her your last rolo (like the ad!).
c) Think about whether you want the vows to be humorous or serious. Discuss with your other half to ensure you’re both on the same page. The last thing you want is for him/her to say vows that make all the guests laugh out loud whilst yours pale in comparison.
2. Give it time.
Your vows are not something that can be treated lightly so don’t make it a lastminute task. If you come across a mind block, stop and take a break. Revisit after you’ve had some time to clear your brain and think again. The lead up to your wedding can be all consuming and sometimes, all you want is to get all the tasks over and done with. This is one that you don’t want to rush because when the time comes to read it out at the altar, it’ll show. Put your heart into it.
3. Keep it short, sharp and sweet.
Everyone knows you lovebirds can’t get enough of each other but save the essay for your 1-to-1 time. Condense your endearments to about 30s because anymore than that will be cringeworthy…for the guests. Of course they’re happy for you but in their minds, they’re probably thinking ‘get on with it!’.
4. Keep it a surprise.
Don’t show each other your vows before the big day. Make the exchange of vows a special moment.
5. Memorise.
You’re allowed to have a cheat sheet in case you get stage fright but try your best to remember your vows. After all, these are promises that should last a lifetime. If its so easily forgotten, why bother with the whole wedding anyways?
